There's a Girl in My Mirror
by MERYL
Summary: Tokers Anthony and Alex end up in ME after a wild night. Both are horribly shocked when they see that they are now girls. Things get interesting when they meet a certain Mirkwood prince. Will they give into his charm?
1. Chapter 1

Anthony dragged his tall form over to his living room and smiled broadly at his mom. His fate was in her hands right now and he wanted to be on her good side. "So…" he said rubbing his stubbly chin, "I'll be leaving for Paul's now."

"Weren't you going to go tomorrow?" she asked, uninterested. Her attention was on her favorite soap opera.

He pulled a hand through his black hair. "No… I told you, I'm going today."

"Oh, okay. Go ahead then, but be back by midnight." She barely looked up from the television.

He stared at her wide-eyed before shuffling out the door as fast as he could—she had the tendency to change her mind on the turn of a dime.

He ran over to his friend's house and rapped on the door. A short, chestnut-haired boy answered it. His green eyes held annoyance. "You're late, man."

"Yeah, I know, Alex. I had to leave at just the right time or my mom wouldn't let me out," he strolled in. "Where's Paul?"

"I'm right here." A tall, lean blond came in from the next room. His bright, blue eyes glimmered mischievously as he pulled out two, small, thin, white… things. "Come on, let's go."

They sauntered over to their favorite park and Paul pulled out his favorite lighter.

"Do you remember the Power Rangers?" asked Anthony, inhaling some of the smoke from one of the white paper tubes.  

"Uh-huh," replied Alex, staring blankly at the sky… wondering just _how far _the clouds were from his face. "Great show," he muttered, making a grab at one. 

"The red ranger turns into the white ranger," Anthony stated, settling back comfortably on his elbows.

"What!" Alex cried, jumping to his feet. "That's crazy! I won't stand for your nonsense, Anthony!"

"Sit down, dude," Anthony urged. Alex, forgetting why he was standing, sat back down.

"I'm bored," Paul said, rolling over so that he was facedown in the wet snow. "Let's _do_ something," he said, his voice muffled. 

"Like _what_?" Alex inquired, counting the wrinkles in his hand. There were _so_ many.

"Let's watch The Two Towers!" Anthony cried. The rest of them agreed, seeing as how there seemed to be nothing else to do that sleepy afternoon. After congratulating Anthony on his brilliant idea, they scrounged around for some money. More rejoicing commenced when Alex found a fifty-dollar bill in his left pocket. After some prayers of thanks to the Gods of all things cool, they made their way to the old theatre house.    

The three strolled out of the theatre, satisfied smiles on their faces. They gave each other's high-fives—missing completely, mind you, but that wasn't that point. After many tries, they finally made it back to their favorite park. "The Two Towers just can't get any better than that," Paul said, his eyes glazed.

"Whoa! Yeah!" Anthony grinned. He gave Paul a high five that missed, hitting Paul on the head.

"Hell yeah! But who was that chick they kept showing?" the short one said fiddling with his leather gloves.

"Duh! That was Arwen," Anthony laughed.

"Then there was a lot of Arwen… and a lot about maids… and Manhattan… and buildings. Tall buildings. What was all that about?"

"That was Rohan," informed Anthony matter-of-factly. "Don't you know anything…? That movie totally rocked! Especially when Aragorn did… this," he clamored on top of the railing of a small bridge that they had to pass to get home. He threw his arms open and screamed on the top of his lungs. "I'm queen of the world!!"

"Don't you mean king?" asked Alex.

"That's what I _said_."

"Uh…?"

"That looks a little dangerous, man," Paul commented peering down into the sewer water two feet below before backing away as though he were the one in danger.

"Hey… come to think of it, that line sounds familiar," Alex mumbled, his finger on his chin.

The boy on the railing turned toward him. "We _just_ watched the movie! Of course it's familiar."

"Dude… when did that even happen?" Paul furrowed his brows.

"Yeah_._" Anthony mumbled wondering at how closely Alex resembled a hobbit. He crouched down and poked him in the eye. Alex grimaced and flung his hand away.

"Stop that, dude." Anthony's hand swung back and he lost his balance.

The boy found himself falling back from the railing, scared and wide eyed. At a last attempt to avert danger, he grabbed the closest thing to his reach—Alex.

The two tumbled over the railing squealing in fear. But no splash was heard… nor was the sound of two bodies crashing to the floor. The night was as still and calm as it was before the three friends crashed the scene.

Paul, who was tying his shoelace, ignored their screams until he had finished. He walked over to where they had been and looked over the edge. Seeing nothing there, he glared into the water. _How dare they leave me here alone!_ Mumbling under his breath, he slowly trotted home plotting revenge for the next time he would see them.


	2. Chapter 2

Cool… I got reviews… TWO of them, too! Two steps closer to my goal of 500! Yahoo! These characters are based on a couple of toking buddies of mine… Please don't tell them, they don't know I'm using them. The last chapter, I didn't leave an author's note… it was a preview. I wasn't going to post this chapter until I got review 20 but since I've already written this all down, I just had to post it up!

Enjoy!

Anthony's eyes fluttered open to a clear blue sky and clouds gliding silently past. Where was he? A tickling on his left cheek caused him to raise a hand to scratch. He frowned in confusion when his hand enclosed around a flower. A flower? In January? He jerked himself upright and looked wearily at his surroundings. Tall trees rose in front of him, encircling him in a quiet clearing. The trees were the tallest he had ever seen, but they seemed more protective than menacing. He lay on a bed of springy green grass that smelled sweet and fresh. There were also numerous flowers of every shape, size, and scent. He felt as though he were in one of his RPG's.

A movement on his lap caused him to look down. He was so enraptured with the situation at hand that he had completely overlooked the little boy strewn across his legs. After shoving him off, the boy awoke and stared blankly around him, and then at Anthony. It was then Anthony realized it was a little girl, not a boy. She had… hairy feet? There was only one place he had seen those, and that was in movies. _Impossible!_ But the clothes seemed pretty familiar… he also realized that his own clothes were unusually baggy… except for one area…

"Where am I?" the girl spoke, then quickly covering her mouth as if she had said something completely horrifying. "My voice!" she exclaimed, clutching her throat. "Aaaaaaahhh…. Eeeee….oooo….uuuu?" she said, raising and lowering the pitch of her voice, concentrating on it's tone. It was as if she had never spoken before. 

Anthony watched for a second or two, before deciding to ignore her strange actions. "I don't know," Anthony replied. "I'm just as confused as you are…" he trailed off at the look the little girl was giving him. An eyebrow was raised and her eyes held disbelief. "What?" he asked, backing away.

"Anthony?" she squeaked.

Anthony's eyes widened in shock. "How'd you know my name?" The girl didn't answer, but burst out laughing. High-pitched giggles resounded throughout the quiet clearing, disturbing the former peace. "Why are you laughing?" he demanded. "Who are you?" The girl was now rolling around the forest floor, throwing up bits of grass and dusty pollen from the flowers. 

Then just as quickly as she began laughing, she stopped. She rose from the floor and asked, "Anthony, why do you look like a chick? What's going on?" Anthony gaped at the little girl's words. A chick? He remembered the looseness of his shirt and the extra weight he felt on his chest. Gulping, he glanced down at his new body parts. 

"Oh my God… what the hell is going on?!" he jumped to his feet and stared frantically at the girl who had begun her insane laughter again. 

She pointed at his head. "And those gazankas aren't the only thing that's changed. Your ears look like Legolas's," the girl gasped between laughs. "This is one hell of a dream…"

"Wait," Anthony said, "Who are you?" Maybe it was the clothes, but something about this girl seemed so familiar. How did she know his name? She spoke to him as if they were friends.

The girl stopped laughing and looked down at her body. "Oh man… this isn't right…" he muttered. He looked up at Anthony with wonder. "Anthony, what's going on? My voice… it sounds like one of the Rescue Rangers.  And I know you're tall… but dear God… how's the weather up there?" She squinted up at Anthony anxiously.

"Just answer the question!" Anthony roared, finally losing his patience.

"It's me, Anthony… it's Alex." The girl, or Alex, looked up at him in amazement. "What's wrong? Do I look different? Oh my God… am I a girl, too?!" His eyes went round with horror as he began to tug at his clothes.

Anthony crouched down so that he was more eyelevel with his friend and peered into his eyes. "It is you. And yeah… you're a girl." Unlike Alex, Anthony didn't burst out laughing. He was beginning to feel frightened. "I don't know where we are man… but I hope to God we're dreaming." 

Alex sat down heavily on the grass, tears stinging his eyes. "I am stuck in the middle of nowhere with my best friend… both of us girls…" He brought a small, dimpled fist to his eye and wiped at the impending tears.

Anthony took him by the collar and pulled him up roughly to his feet with one hand. "Keep it together! This is probably a dream so we'll sit here until we wake up!"

"I'm sorry!" Alex apologized. "These female hormones, man…"

Anthony sighed and sat next to his friend, a million questions crowding his mind. What were they going to do? Where exactly were they? Why had he and Alex been transported to this world a different gender but with the same clothes? Just how much weed did they smoke that night? 

He slipped an arm around his friend's shoulders and comforted him as best as he could. _He's so cute_, he reflected, feeling an urge to hug him. Suddenly realizing his strangely feminine thought, he shook himself out of his reverie. Alex glanced at him curiously. "You know, you're pretty hot as a girl…" Alex said, eyes roaming over Anthony's new face. 

Flinging his hand away from Alex's shoulders, he smacked him on the side of the head. "Don't get any ideas," he growled. Alex instead chose to continue sniffling. After a long time sitting in the clearing, both of them dying to see just _how much _their bodies had changed but being too shy to do so in front of each other, Anthony decided they should at least look around. Standing up, he scanned through the trees, hoping to find a glimpse of civilization.                                     

"Alex!" he cried. "Look!" Anthony pointed a slender finger at the building just barely peeking over the tops of the branches of the trees. "Let's head that way!"

"Head where? What are you looking at?" asked Alex, jumping up and down. Sighing, Anthony picked him up and pointed in the direction of the structure. "Wow!" Alex exclaimed. "Even now it's pretty hard to see. How'd you find it?"

"I don't know. I don't think I've been transported with my contacts, yet I see everything so clearly! Like, my sight has been restored to 40/20 vision or something. And my hearing… oh my God… I can _hear _the _wind_…"

Alex cocked his head to one side as he watched as Anthony listened to the wind. "Do you think we can get a move on, Antonia?" Alex said.

After Anthony had a few more moments of listening to the wind, the two sauntered off the to building Anthony had seen in the distance. Both of them were still clinging to the hope that this was a dream, but everything seemed too real; the air smelt so foreign; the birds sang too loudly; the sky without the usual haze of air pollutants. Wherever they had been transported to, it was no place on Earth.


	3. Chapter 3

Ringu! That's an awesome name yo! Thanks for the support… even though you totally attacked Spellbinding a little harshly. Simply Sam, you rock, dude! I swear, one day, I'll be reading your fic with a satisfied smile on my face—that is, unless it's bad. Then you'll hear from me. For the meanwhile, the ff.net world needs to be rid of these "crimes against fiction" and I intend to be one of the enforcers. Ah… Dazzle. Sweet, sweet, poor, ignorant Dazzle. I love you! Wait, what am I typing, no I don't. Your review wasn't very much the flame if you intended to be. In fact, it was a little incoherent. What I did gather was that my story needs work. What does my story need work on? My grammar? I dare you to point out at least THREE mistakes. If you find three mistakes, I will give you three gold stars. About the link in my profile… you're one for observations, aren't you? Way to point the obvious! Here's a gold star to get you started. If you're not PMS-ing then I don't know what that term means because that's what you're doing. My characters were intended to have low IQs. Aine and Star's, on the other hand, were not. Just take a quick gander at the genre. Tell me what it is, and tell me that this isn't at all humorous in any way. To all my fic-supporters… You rock! Here is some elven wine! Sip it wisely while reading this chapter!

"Sometimes! Some crimes… go slipping through the cracks! But these two! Gumshoes! Are picking up the slack!" Alex sang heartily, enjoying his new vocal range. Anthony walked a few feet behind, covering his sensitive ears. "There's no case too big, no case too small! If you need help just call!"

"Shut up!" Anthony cried, tugging at his long hair. 

Alex glanced over his shoulder. "Come on, man. It helps, it really does!" 

Anthony glared at his friend. "Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip and Dale… Rescue Rangers…" he mumbled, singing along with his friend under his breath. After a few minutes, Anthony was singing just as loudly as Alex, maybe even more so. Soon, the forest was filled with the sound of a hobbit and an elf singing the theme song to Disney's Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers.

"You know it never fails once they're involved! Somehow whatever comes gets solved!" they sang, throwing their fist triumphantly in the air. "Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip and Dale! Rescue Ran—"

"Halt!" a voice commanded, interrupting their song. Cheeks ablaze, Alex cowered behind Anthony, whimpering softly. In front of them were two, tall women, each pointing an arrow straight at them. They were dressed uniquely, their tall forms clad in a tunic and tights. Both looked dead serious and ready to kill if provoked. "What business do you have here?" one of them demanded.

"Uh…" Anthony faltered. "Hi," he greeted, feebly waving a hand. "Hey! I'm talking Elvish!"

The women looked each other, puzzled. Alex poked a head from behind legs, "And I can understand it!"

"Again we ask what are you doing here?" 

"We're on our way to that place," Alex intermitted, pointing a stubby finger in the direction of the building and stepping boldly from behind Anthony's leg. But at the look the woman gave him, he slipped away from sight once more.

The two women glanced at each other, trying to decide if the hobbit and elf were friend or foe. "Are you to see Lord Elrond?" 

Anthony's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in shock. "Lord Elrond? As in, _Lord_ Elrond?" 

The woman raised an eyebrow. "Yes. Is he known by any other name?" 

"Excuse us for a moment," Anthony gasped, pulling Alex a few feet away from the two females. "Oh man, my worst fears are confirmed."

"You're on your rag?" Alex asked, mildly disgusted yet also curious.

Anthony smacked him upside the head. "No, I am not…" his brow furrowed in thought. "Actually, I don't know… I'm not sure. Do elves get periods?"

Alex's eyes widened, "Do hobbits?!"

"Who cares? The important thing is, I've figured out where we are. We're in Middle-Earth!"

Alex's lips pouted in thought and he brought a hand to the top of his curly round head. "You're kidding! Oh my God… that explains—"

"That's probably the reason why I'm an Elf and you're a Hobbit," Anthony interjected. 

Alex stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm… that doesn't make sense. Why would you be the Elf, and I the Hobbit? I'm clearly the better-looking one."

Anthony made a face. "Whatever gets you to sleep at night."

"But still, that doesn't explain our genders."

"Probably the sick sense of humor of the guy who brought us here," Anthony mumbled, glaring at his surroundings. 

"So what now? We've been discovered!" Alex cried, waving nervously at the two women. "I think they're elves, man." The two Elves looked at each other uncertainly, then uneasily waved back.

Anthony's widened when he heard one of them mumble, "We _are _elves."

"Dammit! They heard us!" Anthony snatched Alex up by the shirt collar and moved him a few feet further. "This should be okay."

"What are you talking about? What should be okay?"

"Ok, here's what we do," Anthony began, his voice rising to the excitement their situation brought him. "We give each other aliases. Aliases are—"

"I know what aliases are!" snapped Alex.

"Ok, we give ourselves aliases. Mine will be… uh… Give me an Elvish name, a girl one."

"May we suggest Lúthien?" the female elves contributed.

"Naw… that's a stupid name—dammit!" Anthony squeezed his eyes shut and pulled Alex a few more feet away.

"What's a stupid name … Arwen?" Alex asked and was rewarded with another hard smack.

"No! Oh, wait! I'll be Erwin and you'll be… Frodina."

Anthony smiled in satisfaction. Alex shook his head sadly. "I have a cousin named Erwin."

"Who cares! It sounds Elvish-like."

"Not really… and I don't think Frodina—"

"Just, remember your alias!" Anthony snapped, dragging Alex back to the two elves. 

"Yes," Anthony began, trying to make his voice (which, unlike Alex's, had not changed) sound more feminine. "We are on our way to see Lord Elrond."

The two elves exchanged glances. "Well, what happened to your clothes?" one of them asked, reaching over and fingering Alex's tee-shirt which coincidentally read 'Nosy little fucker, aren't you?'.

"This is strange script,"

"We've traveled a long way… from the land of…uh… New Jersey…" stammered Anthony, waving a hand in the direction of where they came.

The elf frowned, not recognizing the name of their land. "And why have you come to Rivendell?"

Alex emerged from his hiding place and stared boldly up at the tall Elf. "It's kinda secret, you know. Only Elrond's allowed to know."

"Oh, I apologize," the elf said meekly. "Would you like an escort to the palace?"

They both nodded wordlessly and hastily followed the two girls to the gates of Rivendell.

"So," Anthony drawled, "Do elves get periods?"

~*~* ~*°*~ *~*~

Paul ran home hurriedly and slammed his bedroom door. He pulled out two naked Barbie dolls, one with Anthony written on it and the other with Alex. He pulled out a few pins and jumped on the bed and onto something hard and painful. Forgetting the dolls, he reached behind him and found a book. "Hey… it's got four corners." He stared at it for a few minutes longer before the thought of opening it entered his mind. He noted that, as he opened the expensive leather binding, he didn't recognize it.

He read the first page. "Lord of the Rings: the Unpleasant Tales of Anthony and Alex," he looked off into space rolling the new information in his mind, "Must be a newer edition."


End file.
